


If you like it (Put a ring on it)

by pxnky



Series: FE3H Modern AU [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And probably OOC, Background Relationships, Everyone is in a relationship and Hubert is fucking done, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I'm Sorry, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pre-Relationship, This Is STUPID, Weddings, oh well, they're idiots basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxnky/pseuds/pxnky
Summary: It's like marriage has become some kind of trend among friends and strangers alike, and Hubert is pretty fed up with this situation. No, it has nothing to do with himself being the only single person he's seen in a long while. Not at all.Okay, maybe a little.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: FE3H Modern AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736701
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	If you like it (Put a ring on it)

**Author's Note:**

> Am I going to make a whole FE3H Modern AU series? Probably
> 
> Do I love this two idiots more than I love myself? Definitely

Hubert is certain that his chair is getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Sure, he can always replace it with a new one (money is not a problem after all) or get it repaired, but he hasn’t done it yet even though it’s been going on for months now. Why bother? Even if he fixes his physical discomfort, is not like the emotional one will be fixed so easily.

It’s at times like these that Hubert wishes he could just throw away his feelings like he throws away the trash every night. But Edelgard didn’t spend all those years scolding him so he started showing a bit more of emotion just for him to make her efforts go down the drain now. So he stays there, sitting in his incredibly uncomfortable chair in his incredibly hot bedroom because it’s summer and the air conditioner is broken and Goddess, he should really get a shit ton of stuff fixed, doesn’t he?

Anyways, things are like this: emotions are a burden, coffee the eighth wonder of the world and Hubert a completely healthy human being. Well, completely healthy except for those incredibly prominent cheekbones of his and the dark circles under his eyes that make people think he doesn’t eat or sleep well…

Okay, maybe they’re right about the sleeping part.

The whole reason Hubert hasn’t been feeling emotionally healthy as of late is because of well, stuff he shouldn’t be worrying about. Hell, he’s only twenty-five and he hasn’t even thought about marriage until now. But this feeling of singleness taking over his life so painfully quick is making him so frustrated. Everyone around him, all his friends that he’s known for years now are starting to build relationships (and some even among them), serious ones, and most of them were ending in a marriage. Edelgard is the biggest example of this. She met a woman, Byleth, when she enrolled at that dance Academy. Byleth was a professor, Edelgard was her student, and soon they hit it off and went on their first date. Two years later, they’re in the middle of the preparations for their wedding. He expected anyone else from their friend circle to be the first one to marry, but Edelgard? His dear childhood friend of all people?

Edelgard is the most important out of the bunch, but there are a lot of other people too: like the waitress at their favorite restaurant. Just that week he had seen a couple of children who were already giggling and holding hands when he went out to buy some coffee grains in a hurry. Then that same day, at the supermarket, he overheard a woman talking to the cashier about her soon-to-be-husband and how difficult it was to find the perfect wedding dress. Then when he was going back home he saw a couple walking their dogs together (and Hubert rolled his eyes **hard** at this), and when he finally got back to his apartment, he found two of his neighbors, an old woman and a girl who looked roughly his age, speaking. About what? About how the woman had just received an invitation for her son’s wedding. That night he went out to have dinner with Edelgard and she told him about a few of his friends from her dance classes who were discussing marriage. Hell, even Bernadetta (Bernadetta!) was in a relationship with someone. Of course, she hasn’t told any of her friends about it just yet, but Hubert has his own methods (and by methods he means he casually saw them together at the park holding hands and Bernadetta almost ran off screaming bloody murder when she saw him); he knows that she met a girl at the library a few months ago. Blonde, green eyes, a big fan of fantasy literature.

Not only her and Edelgard though, but Dorothea and Petra had recently gotten engaged as well. Caspar had recently met a boy at the park too (cliche story: they were both walking their cats and they got tangled, so both ended up falling to the ground and Caspar invited him to some tea after that to make up for it. Hubert’s sure he’s heard that story somewhere, in a movie he fell asleep halfway through watching it). Edelgard had introduced Linhardt to Byleth’s twin brother and they were at the ‘getting to know each other better’ stage. Even their teachers from school, Manuela and Hanneman, had recently made their relationship public during the alumni meeting last week! Manuela and Hanneman! The same people who despised each other and threw the most childish of insults back and forth in the corridors during their school days!

And Hubert? Fine, thanks.

Maybe he should listen to Edelgard’s advice and start going out more instead of locking himself in his office. Maybe, just maybe. He’s taking baby steps, like going out to have dinner with Edelgard and later meeting up with Ferdinand, Petra and Dorothea to go somewhere else. Hubert doubts getting together with someone he’s met in a club would have a good outcome, but he still tries.

Soon he realized that women were not his thing, and his chances of finding a significant other grew even slimmer.

Hell, he was only twenty-five and too young to be thinking about marriage, but being alone while the rest of his friends make heart eyes at each other and exchange saliva (and germs, lots of them) every time they hang out together is starting to get pretty frustrating. Hubert doesn’t really want to stop hanging out with them, but wanting to glass their friends on the face whenever they say or do something particularly cheesy (Caspar calling that Ashe guy the ‘cheese to his macaroni’ was the last straw and it made him **gag** ) isn’t the way to go either. So he figures he can give this whole ‘dating’ thing a try.

Being single forever wasn’t one of his worries before, but now?

Work meetings aren’t the best place to look for a future husband either. Hubert is professional… and his coworkers are mostly old. Also mixing his job with his personal life is a big no-no. Traveling abroad has never been his thing (yes, he’s afraid of heights, he gets dizzy, people like him exist), so that’s the first option he discarded. Not to mention his ‘resting villain face’, as Dorothea so liked to call it, normally stops people from getting too close to him.

No, really, is he actually going to die alone? Even if he fights with all his might, he’d never stop being the lonely friend. He’s always known his looks are… unconventional, to say the least, but this is downright depressing.

Then Byleth and Edelgard’s wedding arrives and, just the next day, Hubert receives the invitation to Dorothea and Petra’s wedding and a lot of other people he knows from school (and that were invited to Edelgard’s wedding for some reason) started discussing marriage as well. In five years, Hubert will be thirty. Five years is nothing, they’re going to pass in the blink of an eye. He’s going to be single at thirty.

Tragic.

Frustration soon becomes something else. Hubert convinces himself that he is the normal one and his friends are a bunch of needy idiots. Except Edelgard, of course, she isn’t needy nor an idiot, she’s just a woman in love. Life is long! There’s a lot of time left! There’s no need to hurry!

Yet Hubert is still alone.

The day he receives the invitation for Petra and Dorothea’s wedding, Hubert is more than just fed up. So he gets dressed and goes out for a long, long walk.

Then he runs into Ferdinand. That dumbass who was always going after Edelgard, trying to form a rivalry with her since they were little children. Not that unusual, given that their families own the two most prestigious and famous hotel chains in all of Fódlan, and they had been rivals for years now. They still meet on occasion, but there are normally more people involved. Things get quite awkward if it’s just the two of them alone; they never liked each other, to be honest. Ferdinand would always pester Hubert for being so close to Edelgard to the point of forgetting that he is his own person, called him a lap dog more than once even. Hubert would usually return the insult, but doubled, sometimes even tripled.

Still, Hubert hasn’t known basically anything about Ferdinand since they graduated from high school. Sure, they meet and hang out with the others, but he doesn’t talk about himself (which is extremely weird taking into account how loud and mighty he was back then, bragging about his rich family, his status, his everything). It’s not that Hubert is interested in Ferdinand’s life, but he wants to know if anyone from his friend group is suffering the same fate as him.

The possibilities of that ever happening are low; Ferdinand was handsome, still is, and a lot of their female classmates used to talk about how beautiful his smile was, called him a ray of sunshine. The corniest ones compared him to a puppy. So Hubert doesn’t have high hopes. He’s pretty sure that Ferdinand is married, or engaged, maybe even has children.

Well thought, he doesn’t want to talk to Ferdinand right now.

“Oh, hi, Hubert” Ferdinand’s voice sounds anything but thrilled. Nothing new. He’s always talked to Hubert like this. At this point, Hubert doesn’t even care. “Something the matter? You seem… upset”

“I just wanted to take a walk” Hubert brushes off his question like it’s an annoying peck of dust on his shoulder.

“I have noticed that. But why are you upset? It’s… not like you”

Hubert clicks his tongue, yet he still answers for some foolish reason.

“Your concern isn’t necessary. I’m not upset”

“Yeah, sure” Ferdinand’s eye roll doesn’t go unnoticed, but again, Hubert is past the point of caring. “I’ll rephrase the question then: why do you look upset?”

“I’m not upset” Hubert despises repeating himself, really, he does, but he still does exactly that.

“Then?”

“Just a bit frustrated, I suppose”

That’s the furthest Hubert has ever gone talking to Ferdinand without starting an argument. By the look of it, it doesn’t look like they’re going to start arguing anytime soon either.

It feels different to talk to him without the insults somehow.

“Alright, that’s a big step. Why are you frustrated?”

For a second, Hubert wonders why Ferdinand is even making the effort to talk to him like this, but it doesn’t last long. He just assumes he’s bored and needs someone to talk to, even if it’s someone who isn’t exactly his cup of tea.

The next second, a wild thought runs through his head. What if he starts venting to Ferdinand? Sure, the thought goes away as soon as it comes, but it’s still there. Hubert would feel disgusted by it if he wasn’t so busy trying to come up with an excuse because there’s no way in hell he’s telling Ferdinand that he’s afraid of dying alone. Why would he anyway? They’re not friends, just part of the same friend circle who only ever talk to each other to argue.

Besides, what would a married man with children like Ferdinand know about being single? Because yes, Hubert has already assumed Ferdinand has a wife and at least one kid.

“None of your business”

“Maybe it isn’t. I’m just saying that, for you to be like this, it must be something huge”

“It’s just…”

“Look, if you don’t want to say it, then don’t. I’m busy anyway”

Oh, well. Ferdinand’s patience has ran out, nothing unusual. The conversation has already beaten their record.

Hubert wonders if it was Edelgard the one who asked Ferdinand to try and be more friendly towards him. He saw them talking during her wedding ceremony, and she looked quite serious. At the moment, he just assumed Ferdinand wouldn’t stop bragging about how much better he was compared to her, and obviously she was bothered because it was her wedding, it was supposed to be her special day and Ferdinand was… being Ferdinand, as usual.

Not like Hubert needs Ferdinand’s… friendship, or whatever this is.

Besides, Ferdinand’s children must be waiting for their dad at home, right? They must be quite young too.

Hubert sees Ferdinand again about two days later. He’s looking out of his office’s window, a warm cup of coffee in his hand. It looks like Ferdinand is lost in thought. Hubert doesn’t care though, he has a lot of paperwork to do, and he soon stops wasting his time looking at nothing.

About five days later, Hubert runs into Ferdinand once more while shopping for groceries. It takes him by surprise to see that Ferdinand’s pants have some stains of multicolored paint. Ah, right, that’s what people with children do, right? They play with them.

He must admit that, at the very least, Ferdinand is a good dad.

They don’t see each other until two weeks later. It’s late at night, Hubert is coming back from a work meeting and almost falls asleep in the train going back home. He finds Ferdinand when he gets off the train, on his way back home, just in front of the grocery store he saw him in two weeks ago.

Even though it’s dark, Hubert can still see the pitiful state Ferdinand is in: his hair, which he had grown out for the past couple of years, is a complete mess. His eyes are red, whether from exhaustion or from crying. Considering the tears he dries off his cheeks, it’s most likely the latter. His hands are all dirty with red paint as well. Maybe he had been playing with his children when he got into an argument with his wife. Well, if that’s the case, there’s nothing Hubert can do about it. He doesn’t know how aggressive couple fights can get, he doesn’t have a wife… rather a husband, to argue with.

He doesn’t know the first thing about relationships besides what he’s seen from his friends, if he has to be honest.

“Is something the matter?”

This time Hubert is the one asking. It’s the proper thing to do after all.

Ferdinand tries his best to compose himself, to look acceptable in front of Hubert, to avoid his ‘biggest enemy’ from seeing him cry. It doesn’t quite work though, but the effort’s still there.

“Nothing, it’s just…” Ferdinand breathes in deep before starting his little rant. “… the kids ignored me today. Can you believe it? They ignored **me**! And not only that, they also laughed! Ugh…”

Okay, so as much as Hubert doesn’t understand how any of this works, even he can tell that calling his own children ‘the kids’ is kind of insensitive. He’ll have to take back what he thought before about Ferdinand being a good father, it seems. But it’s not his place to say anything, so he keeps quiet about it and keeps the conversation going.

If Ferdinand can make an effort to talk to him normally, without the usual bickering and name-calling, then so can he.

… Or so he thinks.

Everything he finds himself being able to do to comfort Ferdinand is pet his hair (is this even petting? He just kind of put his hand on Ferdinand’s head and ruffled his hair) and tells him, in his nicest tone, that everything is going to be alright. Whether he means it or not, Hubert’s not sure. And then he leaves and goes home. It’s not his fault, really, he’s just too tired, even putting a foot in front of the other to walk is too much work and his eyelids are dropping.

He really needs to get some decent sleep.

The next day, Edelgard and Hubert are meeting with Dorothea and Petra to help the couple pick the perfect wedding cake. It’s the least thing he wants to do right now, but he has to make an effort for his companions at least. So the four accord to meet in front of their favorite cafe, the Blue Lions cafe where Edelgard’s step-brother works.

When he’s on his way, he crashes into Ferdinand. To be fair, it’s Hubert’s fault for answering a text message from Edelgard while he walks. But it’s not like Ferdinand is paying any attention to his surrounding whatsoever, starring down at his feet like they’re the most interesting thing in the world and looking all sad again.

“Oh, hey Hubert. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention” Ferdinand apologizes, and Hubert has to restrain himself from saying something along the lines of ‘you don’t say’. Instead, he tries to be nice and polite.

Maybe it really is time to make love and not war… so to speak.

“You look upset. Is something the matter?”

“How kind of you, but I’m not upset, really!” Ferdinand tries so hard to smile that it comes off as fake. It probably is.

Hubert finds this conversation awfully familiar to one they have already had in the past.

“You’re awfully bad at lying”

“… Am I now?” Ferdinand drops his smile and the tables turn so quick and drastic.

“Is it the kids again?” Hubert is awful at keeping a conversation going, so it takes him a few seconds to come up with a good topic. And he’s also kind of intrigued to know what’s keeping Ferdinand of all people so down and gloomy.

Ferdinand shakes his head.

“Not today. It was Mercedes who laughed at me today. She said that the kids like her more than me! Can you believe it?! I have worked so hard for them, so hard to make them like me, and now this? I know she was only teasing and that she didn’t have ill intentions, but I’ve had a horrible week, in all honesty. Perhaps that’s why I took it so hard”

Hubert tries to remember. Mercedes… If he recalls correctly, he’s heard that name before. She used to be a waitress at the Blue Lions cafe until a few months ago, when she left. According to her best friend, Annette (that short girl who was always singing weird songs while preparing pancakes), Mercedes left to pursue her ‘true dream’, whatever it was. However, they were still friends and Hubert had seen the whole group hanging out with her some days ago.

Back to the topic, a lot of people would describe Mercedes as a very beautiful woman. Smart, kind, sweet to the point where her voice alone was capable of giving one cavities. He wasn’t aware that Ferdinand and Mercedes knew each other, but he really isn’t surprised that they are together. They make quite the pair, if he must say.

Hubert is starting to think that picking an older person to marry is becoming a tradition among his group. Edelgard had Byleth, Petra had Dorothea, and now Ferdinand and Mercedes. And not only were they married, but with kids too.

Ferdinand 1 – Hubert 0.

Just like the last time, Hubert tries his best to comfort Ferdinand. After a (little bit) less awkward head pat and a hair ruffle, they say goodbye and Hubert makes his way to his meeting with the girls.

They met about five more times after that. Ferdinand just kept getting more and more stressed, his face didn’t light up like usual, he always had some complain about how much the kids seemed to dislike him, how Mercedes kept teasing him and it didn’t make things any better.

It isn’t until the fifth time that Hubert becomes downright bothered. He doesn’t have relationship experience, alright, but he has heard enough to know that a partner is supposed to uplift you, bring the best out of you. Ferdinand is also to blame in this situation, of course; he should tell her to stop with the teasing or something. But Hubert has to admit that, for what Ferdinand has told him, he’s pretty good at taking care of the children. Hubert is sure he must be a good dad.

“Don’t you think you should break it off?” Hubert straight up tells him. It’s pretty evident, even for him, that this relationship is not working. “Or get some counseling if you prefer it. The kids would appreciate it”

Ferdinand raises an eyebrow, as if Hubert has just said something stupid.

“Excuse me, what?”

“I said you should break up or get some counseling. It would be better for you both, and also the kids”

“What are you talking about?”

Hubert already knew that Ferdinand was too headstrong for his own good sometimes, but this is a whole new level.

“I told you to break up. With Mercedes. If you need help with the money, I could…”

“Wait, what are you saying? Break up with Mercedes? Money?”

“Listen, Ferdinand, even I know that divorces don’t come for free”

“Divorce? But I’m not even married!”

Hubert is left speechless. It’s the first time in his life that his has happened, and he really didn’t expect this first time to be because of Ferdinand of all people.

“What did you just say?”

“Hubert, can you please tell me something?” It’s obvious that Ferdinand is trying his damn hardest not to laugh at Hubert’s disjointed expression. “All those days we’ve been talking, what did you think I was talking about?” It all seems to click on Ferdinand’s mind in an instant though, as his face lights up again after all that time. “Wait a minute, you thought Mercedes and I were married? And that the kids I was telling you about were our children?”

Hubert hates to admit it, but Ferdinand is completely right on this one. Now he’s lost. Okay, he was wrong, but what was that stuff about then?

It’s the first time in a while that Hubert hears Ferdinand laugh so hard. He doesn’t know whether he should get mad or smile; yes, he’s laughing at him, but at the same time, making him laugh after he’s been looking like a corpse lately feels… strange.

It kind of makes him want to smile. Just kind of.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for laughing, really! Ah, that was a good laugh…” Ferdinand grabs his stomach with both his hands. It must hurt, he’s been laughing for a solid two minutes after all. “Hubert, I may be an heir, but my father is nowhere near dying just yet! I need to make my own money until then”

Hubert can see where this is going, but he wants to hear it in Ferdinand’s words before jumping to conclusions. He’s already seen he’s no good at this stuff.

“Which means…”

“That I recently got hired and now I work at the same kindergarten as Mercedes”

Yeah, that’s what Hubert was thinking. Now it’s him the one who wants to laugh. Not at Ferdinand though, but at his own stupidity. He will do it when he gets home.

“So you aren’t…”

Ferdinand interrupts him before Hubert can finish the sentence.

“Married? No” Then he crosses his arms over his chest and switches back to the more serious look. “I don’t even know who I would marry anyway. No one has caught my attention yet”

No one. He said ‘no one’. Not ‘no woman’ nor ‘no man’. Hubert can’t help but notice that for some reason.

“Understandable. No man has caught my attention either”

“Doesn’t it seem like single people are going extinct?” Ferdinand keeps the conversation going and Hubert is grateful because he’s really bad at it. “It’s like a trend! Why is everyone so insistent on getting married so young?”

Hubert can’t help but agree with everything he’s saying.

“Exactly! I don’t understand why everyone is in such a hurry”

Ferdinand nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! We aren’t even that old!”

Hubert forgets about the fact that Ferdinand von Aegir of all people is the only one who has understood him so far. He feels like he could cry because, damn, finally! Someone who understands where he’s coming from!

“I have always thought men don’t need women to feel complete or vice versa… now I’m not so sure anymore”

Hubert nods and, once more, agrees. All those idiots making him feel single and lonely are simply the worst. Hubert already had enough trying to come to terms with his looks being considered ‘below average’, ‘grotesque’ or ‘creepy’ by basically everyone that laid eyes on him. Yes, he had eventually learned to embrace it and what not, but still.

“I like my life as it is, don’t get me wrong. Single, living in my own apartment, doing whatever I deem fit and being the heir of a big hotel chain? Amazing! What else could I ask for? I basically have my entire life resolved and I’m only in my twenties! Isn’t life beautiful?” Ferdinand keeps his energy until he reaches that part of his little speech. Then, he sighs. “But I’m not going to lie. Seeing Edelgard get married? It hurt. Dorothea and Petra are going down that road too, and I can’t help but think they’re going to start talking about stuff I know nothing about. Couple stuff, children, all that madness. I know it’s probably just a crazy thought, but what if it comes true? I’d be left without a significant other _and_ without friends!”

That thought really hadn’t occurred to Hubert. But, though worrying, he knows there’s no chance of that ever happening. Edelgard won’t let that happen. Not to them.

“Being single in a world were everyone is in a relationship is quite troublesome, uh?” Hubert doesn’t expect an answer (he has experienced this first hand to know it’s true) when he says this, yet he still receives one.

“You don’t say”

Then, they both sigh at the same time, probably feeling equally as disappointed. The single life is taking a tool on them, it seems.

“Sorry, I must go” Hubert almost feels bad saying this, maybe even a bit sad. The conversation so far is going well, they have more in common than he could have ever imagined, yet he has to leave it at that because he has an important business to attend to. “It’s Petra and Dorothea’s wedding tomorrow and I have to go”

“Oh, was it? I don’t even know if I’ll go, in all honesty” Ferdinand admits and Hubert wants to stop him right there and then for saying such stupidity. “Doesn’t sound like something I’ll enjoy…”

It doesn’t sound like something Hubert is going to enjoy either. Sure, he’s happy for the couple (they’re his friends after all), but the thought of being alone in yet another ceremony where everyone is accompanied, whether by a relative or a partner, sounds outright disgusting and discouraging. He swears if he sees one more couple making out in front of him, he’s going to dispose of them both. Somehow. He’ll manage.

Sometimes he wishes he could use magic to make things a little easier.

“No, I don’t think I’ll go after all. Can you still bring me some cake though? I’ll repay you, I promise” The first part sounds so gloomy and borderline sad that Hubert feels something akin to a needle sticking into his heart when he hears it.

Hubert considers. He has to go home to get his luggage ready, since the two women are getting married in Petra’s home country, Brigid, where he would only see happy couples being all lovey-dovey, kissing and hugging all around him… basically what he is already doing in Fódlan. And without having to pay for the (very expensive) airplane ticket when he’s afraid to death of heights.

He doesn’t think too much before calling for Ferdinand and telling him to come back. That’s what he did, a confused brow on his face. Hubert swallows before asking.

After all, he has nothing to lose, does he?

“Is there something you want, Hubert?”

“You are coming to the wedding”

Ferdinand lets out a very loud laugh upon hearing this.

“No, I’m not. I love them, I do, but I’ve had enough this past couple of months”

“I don’t think you understand” Hubert crosses his arms over his chest. Alright, here goes nothing. “You are coming. As my partner”

“Hubert, I’m sure you know already, but that’s going to be too confusing for our friends”

“Let’s confuse them, then” He has already dropped the bomb, might as well insist on it.

“And then what? If I catch the bouquet we will get married? You know the omen, I assume”

Hubert considers the idea for about two seconds. The conclusion he reaches is:

Why not?

So he nods solemnly, much to Ferdinand’s surprise. Hubert takes pride in seeing Ferdinand’s eyes go wide, seeing him stumble over his own words.

“Wait, are you serious now?”

“When haven’t I?”

Ferdinand stares down at his shoes, then back to Hubert. He breathes in, closes his eyes, a smile makes its way into his face.

“We have a deal then” Ferdinand concludes.

“We do”


End file.
